there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
