she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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