i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
you would pick up someone in the library
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
i believe in u and ur pee
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