I'm jealous of your bromance
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
