Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
you are never too drunk for berry picking
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
