Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
