my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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