Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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