Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
