If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize