i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
