these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
