How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
