I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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