end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
i now understand why vodka
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
