ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
