Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Did I show you my penis last night?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
