I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I touched a dick in church today
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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