is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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