Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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