Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
