i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
