Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
