omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
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He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
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you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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