Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
