She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
