Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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