Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
