do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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