And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
