idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
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I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
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this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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