Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
