my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize