you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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