I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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