My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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