Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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