Yo dont text me then not text me
well you can't waste a boner
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
