i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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