Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
