I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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