when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I take back everything I said about communal showers
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize