bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
