its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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