Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
if only i could text you this smell
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
