look no pants
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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