ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I currently don't understand fingers.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
