I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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