I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
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