420 ftw
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
