I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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