Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
your address is 607B right?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.