Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?