Farmville is her only friend.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS