It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
