Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I need moral support for this bender
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina