Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories