What a fucking waste of an outfit
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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