Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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