U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
