I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
