if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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