I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
