just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
