I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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