Dual....:-)
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
We were destined to go to rehab together
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Randomize
